Trinidad Villanueva

Trinidad Joseph Villanueva: Orchestrated the escape of political prisoner Mumia Abu Jamal. Wrote “People’s History of the United States” for His former professor Howard Zinn. Studied guerilla warfare at the school of the americas. Once ate all of Lindsey Weir’s Mom’s fruit roll-ups and then blamed it on Nick Popodopolis. Served as chief council for Oliver North. Coined the term “Yugoslav on my knob” and sold it to Dan Gerchik for 1.2 million dollars. Also coined the term “neo-liberalism” and sold it to the World Trade Organization for $56 dollars worth of KY jelly ( he still has $52 dollars worth somewhere in his garage.) Shortly after returning from a recent presidential mtn. biking trip he and his good friend G.W. announced the “infastructure reorganization plan thingy” for the United Nations and the agencie’s new name ” secret club of first world countries that fuckin’ rule club with a top secret knock and handshake, plus it’s way better than that ivy league order of the skull mumbo-jumbo.. bro…club.” Trinidad was later presented with the runner-up prize for the Nobel Peace Prize. His acceptance speech:” I’m honored to be honored with this honor…I fully believe in peace, unless it interferes with profit or my getting some T n’ A.” Following a brief bender he was hired by the city of San Francisco to clean up their “liberal hippie” image. Patchoulie and marijuana were burned in people’s park for three weeks straight, universities from S.F. state to Humbolt were shut down and converted to shopping malls, students were stripped of their birkenstocks, washed and offered jobs at the various Gaps, Urban Outfitters, and Americn Eagle outlets. T-bone ( as trinidad likes to call himself) was once heard to quip: “Normal people scare me.” this was later turned into a bumper sticker by now renowned performance artist Cubby Majestic. Trinidad then enlisted the help of his good friend Andrew Scott Taylor (son of legandary musician Terry Taylor) to start a rock group called Really Crazy Town. It doesn’t matter that there was already a group called Crazy Town,’cause Really Crazy Town was pretty much the greatest band that ever existed. After redesigning the American flag (to include the juicy couture motto: “Be Juicy.”) Trinidad successfully campaigned to make “Highway to Hell” the new American National Anthem. He then teamed with life long friend (Chris)Topher Devine to purchase a controlling interest in National Public Radio, and briefly hosted the new improved version of “this American life” fittingly entitled “This Bad-ass American Life.” Adding to the NPR programming the friends introduced radio versions of popular television shows “Jack-ass,” “punked,”and “Monster Chopper.” Most recently he’s published several books including: “Yo, Veto that shit Bro!” ” Clinton what’s with the tubby chick, man!?!” and his acclaimed autobiography “Was ‘sup ladies: the politics of a party animal.” Trinidad Joseph Villanueva now spends time visiting OCMA on free admission days, he does “Sad Bastard Night”on Sundays and Reads to retards at the children’s hospital on Fridays. He also does lunch at Mutt Lynch’s after surfing the wedge Tuesday mornings.

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